Live and Let Live
I’ve been here 7 months and I like it less every day. Maybe it’s just where I live. The city is so hard and cut-throat. Sometimes I don’t even want to go outside even though I feel better after I do. People are so bold when it comes to asking for money and some get mad when you don’t give or have. It’s annoying as shit.
It’s becoming more difficult to see the “bright side” and I find myself fighting inside my head a lot more – trying to turn the frown upside down. Ugh.
And it’s because the city can be quite ugly. I’ve lived in CA, WA, HI and now NV. This state is the trashiest I’ve been in. A lot of people don’t pick up their dog poop and there are plastic bags all over the place. I’ve seen people throw trash out their windows driving. It’s so crazy.
On a happier note, Red Rock Canyon is really close by and we got an annual pass this past week so we will be spending a lot of time here. It’s super peaceful and the park opens at 6 am so you can go before it starts getting hot.
We hit 100 yesterday for the first time in 2018. It was hotter than I expected, luckily I was at work all day but when I got out at 7pm it was still yucky hot.
I fulfilled one of my life’s dreams and got a job at a cannabis dispensary, it’s been fun and interesting. A little different than I expected but it stays quite busy, I am learning lots and I get an employee discount. Yay!!!!
We’ve been here for almost 2 1/2 months. I like it mostly but am still getting used to it. It’s more hard-core city than I am used to. It makes me miss Kailua, I felt a lot safer there than I do here. So many homeless people, it’s sad. We live close to Fremont, DTLV and not far from the strip. People don’t get up early here and it gets dark at like 4:30pm. I have yet to drive, serious maniacs on the road, it’s really quite unbelievable. Like, say I’m in the middle lane and miss a left or right turn I was supposed to make, I would stay in my lane till it was safe to get over and turn around. These motherfuckers will just turn, it doesn’t matter if there’s someone in the lane next to them. They’ll cut you off so they can get to wherever they are going. Dog eat fucking dog. I hate that. People just straight up use their cell phones, they don’t care who can see. Some asshole honked at me when I was in a marked crosswalk with lights flashing. Most cars have a broken tail light. I heard jaywalking was $50 per lane, you’d be surprised because these fuckers cross anywhere, anytime. I’ve yet to see someone gets ticketed for it, but the police have bigger fish to fry, I am sure.
I do like that we are close to everything. Money goes so much further here it’s crazy. We have a 99 cent store down the street that I like, that place is bizarre. Every time I go there something very strange happens. People watching on Fremont is fun, I see so many different types of people. I like the dispensaries. It’s nice to not be sweating 24/7 and everything isn’t damp all the time. The sun is practically always shining and it hasn’t rained since we moved here. Those are all good things to me.
New Year’s Eve should be fun. I read that security is going to be crazy on the strip so we’ll probably leave here early in the afternoon. No bags, no strollers. Snipers on rooftops. We are going to Mandalay Bay, House of Blues and not sure if we are driving 1/2 way and taking the monorail or bussing it. Either way, it’ll be an interesting evening.
I am just looking back at when I wrote last. I started the process of tapering off of Zoloft last year. April 4 was my first day completely off. May was horrible. I thought with the year taper it wouldn’t be that bad. I was so wrong. I felt like shit most days. I couldn’t jump, run, or hike. I was nauseous all the time. If I moved too quickly, especially my head it was like my brain couldn’t keep up with the movement. My body hurt and I didn’t think I would ever feel better again. Thank goodness I do. I started on 25 mg of Zoloft and worked my way up to 150 mg over the course of about 3 years. Then I started my taper, it was about 10% less per month I took. I started taking Zoloft at the suggestion of my shrink. I was so sad all the time, couldn’t get out of bed. Thought I was going to die every moment of the day. Zoloft helped me not feel that way anymore and so far, those feelings haven’t come back.
I told my doctor I was doing the taper so she prescribed Wellbutrin to help with the withdrawal. Unfuckingbelievable. The bad part is I am taking it so now I want to get off of it as well. The lame thing is that I am on the extended release pills and I can’t just cut them down to taper. Apparently, if you cut them in 1/2 they are no longer extended release and that jacks everything up. So I will be making a trip to the doctor to let her know that was the worst I have felt on a daily basis since I quit drinking. I wonder how much of a kick back they get from the pharmaceutical companies? This time if she suggests something else I will decline. I am doing pretty good with fish oil and Ashwagandha. It should be interesting how she recommends I taper off Wellbutrin.
The paper lady has been a lot quieter but she’s still out there every morning and could give no shits about what the landlord says or if she is bothering anyone. It sucks too because our landlord is so nice. This woman once paid her rent in $1 bills and I know her rent is at least $1300. They have a couple kids living in their studio and they are not in school for some reason. I saw her coming in the other day, it was still dark but it was about 6 am and she had 2 extra large candy bars in her hand. I don’t have any kids but I don’t think it’s a good example to set for your grandkids that candy bars are good for breakfast, especially if they are sturdy in the first place.
We decided we’re gonna move. Not because of the neighbors but we’re going back to the mainland. More of everything over there. If I were 25 years younger living here would be ok but I am not. I want to be able to drive more than 50 miles to get somewhere. I want to be able to shop online and not see the *we don’t ship to Hawaii or *prices do not apply if you’re in Hawaii. I want to live somewhere where it’s not so expensive. I can’t save anything and it sucks. Also, I seem to be complaining a lot lately and it’s because I am unhappy. Soon it will change.
My bedroom window overlooks one of the parking lots in our building and there is way more action there than if I am looking off of the lanai. The bummer is the window has glass slats and a screen so my view isn’t ideal for pictures and some of this stuff has to be seen to believe. I can see all the lanais of the people that live in the building next to mine from the bedroom window too. Most of the people are pretty mellow because they are old. The only thing that happens with them is the ambulance/fire department are here a few times a month. In the building next door, ground floor and the closest to the street there are some people living who we call the hillbillies. The apartment is the same size as ours and we live in studio/1 bedroom. So basically a large room divided by wood doors with a kitchen and bathroom attached. I always know the dad is coming home because his car is super squeaky, It’s actually an SUV but it’s only 2 doors. The first time we saw all of them pile out of the car was funny, like 10 clowns coming out of a mini car. Their family consists of the dad and mom (she was gone for about 1 year, she’s back now). Two older kids (a young man (his girlfriend) and a young lady) prob 19-20. Twin boys about 11, a daughter about 10 and the baby (she’s like 3 now). They all live in the apartment. I heard our landlord is letting them stay there till the dad saves enough money to move the family out. The older son doesn’t work, his girlfriend does and so does the older daughter. We are always so curious where they all sleep. The dad pulled up the other day in a Chrysler 300. He has to park it on the street so he’s feeding the meter for it. So now they have two cars, he keeps driving the squeaky car so maybe he is watching it for someone? The dad works construction and they all seem pretty happy. It’s very “family” over here and I like it. I appreciate it, I miss mine.
The apartment they live in is the same size as ours and we live in studio/1 bedroom. So basically a large room divided by wood doors with a kitchen and bathroom attached. I always know the dad is coming home because his car is super squeaky, It’s actually an SUV but it’s only 2 doors. The first time we saw all of them pile out of the car was funny, like 10 clowns coming out of a mini car. Their family consists of the dad and mom (she was gone for about 1 year, she’s back now). Two older kids (a young man (his girlfriend) and a young lady) prob 19-20. Twin boys about 11, a daughter about 10 and the baby (she’s like 3 now). They all live in the apartment. I heard our landlord is letting them stay there till the dad saves enough money to move the family out. The older son doesn’t work, his girlfriend does and so does the older daughter. We are always so curious where they all sleep. The dad pulled up the other day in a Chrysler 300. He has to park it on the street so he’s feeding the meter for it. So now they have two cars, he keeps driving the squeaky car so maybe he is watching it for someone? The dad works construction here in town. He’ll come home and they will all pile into the car to go grocery shop together. I think it’s pretty cool to see how other people live. It helps me accept and appreciate the differences. The dad is always smiling and I never hear them yelling or fighting. That’s a lot more than I can say about other families I know who don’t even live together.
I haven’t been losing any sleep lately from the paper lady. Only because the fan is on all night right by my head. The landlord put a note on her door that said she needs to park elsewhere (if she’s working) from 10pm-6am. I don’t think it’s an unreasonable request. Apparently, she does since she isn’t following the rules. The real test will be Sunday, if that shit wakes us up again, it’s not going to be good.
There are 2 apartments on the top floor of the building, I live in one with my boyfriend, Dallas and this guy, John, lives across the way. If I open my front door, I see his front door. When we first moved in, our landlord was concerned we might not want the apartment because of John. We already knew John from around town. He rides his bike around yelling obscenities and talking to himself. He scares people. My landlord told us he is the only person on the island that will rent to him. Dallas heard (from one of the delivery drivers at work) that when John was young his dad lit him on fire. He has burns all over his body. We don’t think it’s strange that he’s mad at the world because he’s been given a shitty ass card in life. I say Hi every time I see him on the stairs, he never says anything back. Once he came to the door and asked if we had any aspirin, I gave him some and figured he would say Hi after that but he didn’t. Sometimes he looks out the window and just talks really loud about strange things and it bothers the neighbors. Interestingly enough, we don’t hear him. I don’t know if it’s because he’s next door or what but I’m glad we don’t hear him. Anyway, last week Dallas overheard some guy talking to another one of my neighbors, he was saying if he finds out who is dealing drugs to his kid, he’s gonna kick their ass. I know a few people in the building sell weed so we were curious who it was. So today Dallas comes home and tells me he heard that John is selling his prescribed oxycontin. Apparently one of the kids who he sold to is not doing well at all and that’s why the guy who was talking to my neighbor is so angry. WTH? How did this even happen? I find it baffling because he is so scary and unapproachable. I try to remember how I was when I was young and do recall some shady ass people we would hang out with for drugs. I hope the guy’s kid recovers.
We moved into our apartment building 11/2015. I love it here. It’s close to everything in town and it’s a very interesting community. This was a last minute find, we were 30 minutes away from signing a lease in Honolulu. I told our previous landlady, Jen we were on our way to sign the lease in Honolulu and she almost had a coronary. She wanted us to stay in Kailua and so did we. She had me hop in her minivan and we drove down the street to the building her mom lives in. Jeff, the building owner was in and after Jen talked to him for a few minutes we had a place to live. Our place is small but we have a large lanai that looks over Kailua Marsh and the Ko’olau mountains. The rent is also $600 less than we were paying before and water is included. Jeff is a great guy and helps out a lot of people. Some of the people he rents to are people who have fallen on hard times and need some help to get them back on their feet. There are also some really old folks, it’s not unusual to see an ambulance. We also have a few people that are not supposed to be drinking. All in all, we have a lot of interesting people who live here. We have given some of the people nicknames because we don’t know their real names. The apartments are small 1 bedroom places, some have lanais and the ones that don’t have a little more space inside. We get along well with everyone and Jeff tells us we are his “normal” tenants.
The apartments are small 1 bedroom places, some have lanais and the ones that don’t have a little more space inside. We get along well with everyone and Jeff tells us we are his “normal” tenants. We don’t complain, we are quiet and we pay our rent on time.
A couple weeks ago Jeff asked if I could move my parking space down one, closer to the street. Everyone who was parked moved their space over to leave an open spot because he needed to have a spot for handicap parking. The wife of the guy on the bottom floor who was parked on the other side of the building moved her car into the handicap space. She uses a cane and she is a rather large lady, super jovial and friendly.
All was well until one morning last week. Our bedroom overlooks the parking lot and on this particular morning, I was woken up about 3:15 am by rustling outside the window. We are on the 3rd floor so noise carries. I look out the window and see our friend, in her minivan putting newspapers into plastic bags. A few minutes later, ding, ding, ding from the car door because her seat belt isn’t on. I know she has a paper route. We used to see her on Saturday night (on the other side) getting the papers ready for the next day. The next morning, I have woken up again. Same rustling and the freaking car door ding.
So the next day I see my neighbor Steven, his apartment is on the ground floor, the nose of her car is facing his windows. He looked like shit and let me know he had been woken up every morning because she sits in her front seat and puts the papers in plastic bags and then takes off to do her route. He also told me he asked her if she could do the papers the night before or park somewhere else to put them in the plastic. He also told me (and Jeff confirmed) that they only reason she had to move her car is because the neighbor on the other side complained about the same thing. He asked her if she could go back to doing the papers the night before. She didn’t. He ended up having to get a restraining order and the cops came out to serve it and that’s why she’s now parked on our side. I am in shock because I can’t believe someone, who we thought was a nice person would be such an asshole. She has NO intent of moving her car in the morning and won’t do it the night before. Saturday the papers were in the car all day and Sunday morning at 3:15 am she is at it again. She told Jeff she “doesn’t give a rat’s ass” if it bothers anyone.
I am not sure what we are going to do. We may have to do the restraining order too. It’s unbelievable to me that she is so disrespectful. Her adult daughter and grandchild are living with her and her husband. Great job on being an example. I am a food broker and I have given her and her family so much free food over the past year. Now it just makes me angry so I try to avoid seeing these people and it sucks because her husband is so nice.
It’s unfortunate but true – I enjoy the feeling of Valium and Xanax. So much so that these days the only way I get to feel that blissful feeling is when I have a procedure that scares me and I request something from my Dr. The last time I had a valium was a few months ago when I was having some dental work done. I cracked up when I picked my prescription up – there was seriously only one tablet in the bottle. I didn’t even know they could prescribe just one. The next time I get to take a Xanax is in a few weeks when I get a colonoscopy, yay! I don’t know if the Dr. can sense I like these little pills or what – the ass man (colon dr.) only prescribed one Xanax! His reason for picking Xanax instead of Valium is because the effect of Xanax doesn’t last as long as Valium. That was new to me. Bummer.
I used to order Valium and Xanax online. It was about 14 years ago and I lived in California. The packages were pretty reliable even though they came all the way from India. Needless to say, I was taking way too many of those little pills. A few times, days would pass and I would wake up and think it was the same day. I was drinking Smirnoff vodka at the time as well. I am very lucky to be alive. Anyway, I was so addicted to these at the time I would wait for the mail person every day around the time of expected delivery. One day I missed the mail person, he had left a note on the door. I saw him down the street and I literally ran after him, I got my package.
March 18th.
Today’s question of the day: What advice were you given?
When I saw the question I was like, oh great. Just what I need. To be reminded of all the times I should have listened to people who knew what they were talking about. Well, things could be a lot worse and I am lucky to be alive.
I am just going to mention a couple of people I should have listened to and I will also mention people I did listen to.
ADVICE GIVEN BY:
Pic is of my mom and dad back in 1965. This was taken in Wageningen, Holland.
Questions from: Get It Scrapped! Tami Taylor 365 Questions – a five year journal.
One of the things I like about living on an island 44 miles long and 30 miles wide is that the drive is never far. It does take longer to get from point A to B because of the traffic, mountains and winding roads. My job requires me to drive to most parts of the island and today I went to the west side, Kapolei. Specifically Down to Earth, a natural food store. It takes about 45 minutes and 1/2 of the drive is super scenic. Sometimes I can’t believe how green it gets.
I went to the post office to mail a couple letters. The main post office is close by (like a few blocks away) and our home delivery is spotty. I complained to the post office once. I’m like – we have no mail Mondays, what’s up with that? The lady at the post office said something about my building being at the end of the route and sometimes the mail people don’t have time to finish. I had a couple suggestions, they probably laughed when they read them. When it rains and the mail doesn’t come we joke and say it’s because of the rain, like Newman in Seinfeld.
I walked over to CVS/Long’s to drop off a prescription and pick up one. Holy Shit – ha! I picked up the container of stuff I have to drink before my colonoscopy, it’s more than a gallon of liquid. Ugh.
The last place I went today was for work as well. I drove into Honolulu which usually takes about 30 minutes, today it took longer because it was around 6pm on a St. Patricks Day Friday.
Now I am happy at home. I hear people partying over at the bar on the next street over. I am so glad they don’t have they band that played last year. It was an 80’s cover band which was cool but the singer sucked!!! A good cover band singer at least sounds similar to the original.
** Questions are from: Get It Scrapped! Tami Taylor 365 Questions – a five year journal.**
pixielittledotme 