I don’t think I’ve ever been happier for December!

Seriously!  I am in such a good mood sometimes it’s frightening.  I like it so I just go with it but it’s not something I am used to that’s why it scares me.  In a good way.

It’s probably one of many reasons :

  1. We’re leaving Vegas…..in the next 3 months or so….Yes!!!!!!!
  2. I’ve been taking St. John’s Wort, Ashwagandha, and Fish oil daily for a few months.
  3. Really working on my attitude and mood by listening to positive podcasts, using the Law of Attraction planner, copying what positive people say to do.
  4. Eating lots more fruits and veggies and fewer sweets.

Las Vegas hasn’t changed.  More people are moving here.  In my neighborhood alone – check it out before you move here…….they are putting those huge iron black fences up around apartment buildings for a reason.  All the piece of shit buildings are getting rehauled and refurbished to prepare for the influx of people.  Our fence isn’t that high so I still have a view of the outside world.  My street is busy and there are so many people displaced in downtown Las Vegas/Fremont area.  Just yesterday I noticed three different apartment buildings being worked on, new paint so they look pretty.  Something I notice just sitting in my living room when people walk by is they like to listen to music without headphones….I don’t know when that changed back….but just blasting their stuff at any time of day or night.

The other day my bf and I were walking to downtown to get some coffee and we walk by this kid (13 -15 yrs) eating some chips walking his dog (it’s like 7:00 am) and he says – “you got a dollar?” No, hi, no good morning. I was still in shock but my bf said, “NO” and the kid shakes his head and is like…..”fuck!”

I must stop with that….getting all worked up and I gotta work.  My horoscope said……Don’t Let Someone Pull You Into Their Storm…..Pull Them Into Your Peace.

 

 

Moved to Las Vegas!

We’ve been here for almost 2 1/2 months.  I like it mostly but am still getting used to it. It’s more hard-core city than I am used to. It makes me miss Kailua, I felt a lot safer there than I do here. So many homeless people, it’s sad.  We live close to Fremont, DTLV and not far from the strip.  People don’t get up early here and it gets dark at like 4:30pm.   I have yet to drive, serious maniacs on the road, it’s really quite unbelievable.  Like, say I’m in the middle lane and miss a left or right turn I was supposed to make, I would stay in my lane till it was safe to get over and turn around. These motherfuckers will just turn, it doesn’t matter if there’s someone in the lane next to them.  They’ll cut you off so they can get to wherever they are going.  Dog eat fucking dog.  I hate that.  People just straight up use their cell phones, they don’t care who can see.  Some asshole honked at me when I was in a marked crosswalk with lights flashing.  Most cars have a broken tail light. I heard jaywalking was $50 per lane, you’d be surprised because these fuckers cross anywhere, anytime.  I’ve yet to see someone gets ticketed for it, but the police have bigger fish to fry, I am sure.  

I do like that we are close to everything.  Money goes so much further here it’s crazy.  We have a 99 cent store down the street that I like, that place is bizarre.  Every time I go there something very strange happens. People watching on Fremont is fun, I see so many different types of people.  I like the dispensaries.  It’s nice to not be sweating 24/7 and everything isn’t damp all the time.  The sun is practically always shining and it hasn’t rained since we moved here.  Those are all good things to me.  

New Year’s Eve should be fun. I read that security is going to be crazy on the strip so we’ll probably leave here early in the afternoon. No bags, no strollers.  Snipers on rooftops.  We are going to Mandalay Bay, House of Blues and not sure if we are driving 1/2 way and taking the monorail or bussing it.  Either way, it’ll be an interesting evening.   

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My friends: Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda

March 18th.

Today’s question of the day: What advice were you given?

When I saw the question I was like, oh great. Just what I need. To be reminded of all the times I should have listened to people who knew what they were talking about. Well, things could be a lot worse and I am lucky to be alive.

I am just going to mention a couple of people I should have listened to and I will also mention people I did listen to.

ADVICE GIVEN BY:

  • Dad – when I was happier creating mischief and drinking with my friends in the early 80s. YOU should stay in those computer classes! (the ones I dropped out of.) I could be Bill Gates but I am glad I’m not. Another thing he mentioned more than once: YOU should join the service. Why don’t YOU join the air-force? I could have a career and a home, I also could be dead. I have a job and a roof over my head, it works and despite everything, I feel pretty good today. My dad died February the 24th in 2000.
  • Mom – so many things she wanted for me. One of the many is the blog thing. We had such a good time together and towards the end, it was the best of times. I would say hers were more of suggestions. She died May 1, 2014, worst day of my life.
  • Oma – in the early 80s when I was getting tattoos she said they make me look like a pirate and asked me what I thought they would look like when I was an Oma. These days all the young people that are getting tatted, you think they think about what their tattoos will look like in 20 years? Probably not. I now have what are called vintage tattoos. A young adult told me this.  VINTAGE. WTF?
  • A couple of really good friends – don’t bother calling us until YOU aren’t drunk and being an asshole. Best advice ever!

Pic is of my mom and dad back in 1965. This was taken in Wageningen, Holland.

Questions from: Get It Scrapped! Tami Taylor 365 Questions – a five year journal.

Turning my frown upside down.

My motto used to be, “life sucks and then you die”. My goal in life used to be getting on disability so I could just drink and people would leave me alone.  I used to go to different doctors to try to get Valium or Xanax and when that didn’t work, I’d order them online and they’d come from overseas.  One day I remember a pill delivery was coming and I missed the guy at the door (I probably passed out). I found the note on the door, ran out to the street and saw him, I literally ran to catch him. This was towards the end of  a couple decades of drinking alcohol on a daily basis for no other purpose than staying drunk, I guess. I was bitter all the time.

After I quit drinking I felt excited every morning for about two years simply because I was waking up without a headache or spending most of the morning in the bathroom vomiting. I had skip in my step. Then slowly the bitterness came back.  I wasn’t drinking but was angry, I wasn’t happy with my environment.  I lived in Seattle and I am uncomfortable in cold weather and when the sky is grey for weeks at a time, I just am pissed all the time because of the  the weather.  I would wake up, watch the news and the weather report would predict my day. Needless to say usually it was bad.

Now it’s about nine years later and even though I live in Hawaii now,  I really have to work on being positive.  I mean, for me – it’s like a full time job. I think I just realized last year that every thought I’m thinking is very important.  Telling myself I’m stupid for forgetting something is not going to make me smarter. It just makes me feel bad and the universe will give me an invisible dunce cap. If I get into a bad mood for any reason, like a shoelace breaking and think to myself: great, the day is ruined, most likely things will go bad the rest of the day. Once I am in a bad mood it’s so hard to get out but it’s my decision to make the change.  I can do it if I try and if I want to be happy, that’s what I want to be and reflect it on others.

Illegal fireworks, I think not!

This is the second year at our current apartment. Last year we* sort of saw the fireworks in Honolulu through the Ko’olau mountains. This year it was insane, they started early.  Loud ass booms that seriously made me scream and jump. My neighbors** were lighting them off in the parking lot next door. They had been selling fireworks out of the back of their white Bronco (which has tags that expired in 2015) so they had a ton of them. Our back window looks over the parking lot and we are on the third floor so I’m always checking out what’s going on out there.

Anyway, they started early and lit off a ton of fireworks.  I was sitting on our bed working and the smell of sulfur totally came up into our place. I seriously thought my clothes were going to smell. At midnight we went onto the lanai and watched a bunch go off and by 12:30am, it was quiet. I guess you can get a permit to light them even though they are illegal.

Today was uneventful. We went out to get coffee and all the food places were full of people. I live with my boyfriend in a beach town where tourists visit. Most of the year is busy but winter and summer especially. The town is growing and new stores are opening (and closing) often. I love living here because I feel comfortable being far away from the dog-eat-dog environment on the mainland. In our last place here we didn’t even lock our front door.  That’s not saying nothing happens here, theft is huge, especially cars (on an island!?) there are a ton of homless and mentally ill people roaming and living on the streets because there are no facilities for them. They shut them down and meanwhile (I read somewhere yesterday) welfare recipients here average $29 per hour and the state minimum wage just got raised to $9.25 per hour. It was $8.25!!!  I have never lived in a place where the state is so sloppily run before but I enjoy the weather and people are beyond friendly.

I am going to prepare for tomorrows work day so I start the new year off right. I’m glad I woke up today. I have a place to live, a positive bank account and food in my fridge. A lot more than some people have.

*When I say we I am referring to my live with boyfriend, Dallas.  We’ve been together about 9 years even though I am still married to someone else. We broke up way before I met Dallas and have both been lazy about the divorce.

**I have a bunch because I live in an apartment building. These particular neighbors we call the hillbillies because they have a dad, two adult children, a girlfriend and 4 kids living in a large studio. The mom used to live with them but she left about 6 months ago. My landlord  knows but he likes to help people and they are saving to move. They had the money but got robbed. That’s a whole ‘nother story.