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Category: gratitude
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My reviews: Cannaburst Gummies Sours
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She’s got incredible infused vegan goodies and does an AMAZING vegan brunch on Sundays!
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when we moved across the U.S.
Thanks for stopping by. It’s been a while and a crazy few months.
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Sun’s out and so is my smile!
My thoughts are negative a lot and I don’t like to share that shit. I think talking about the struggle is a little different and easier for me. I got to share about it a little with a co worker the other day. She also mentioned she’s glad she takes medication so she doesn’t have to deal with it. I told her I didn’t like medication because it made me gain a ton of weight and that made me even more depressed or the struggle of getting off of the medication but in the end thought I had was how grateful I was to not be on SSRIs anymore.
So I started thinking about gratitude and how passionate I was about my gratitude back in Vegas and how come I don’t have that same passion for gratitude. We moved and we are definitely not making as much money as we were before and things have been a struggle. On the other hand, we’ve only been here a short time and have jobs and a place to live. I just got a bike the other day so I can ride around all the bike paths at my doorstep. The sun has been out since June started so that’s been a great help on my outlook as I open my eyes. My bf, my health and friends. I could go on and on about things I am thankful for. So, what’s missing?
This morning it hit me and I started cracking up. I always started my “gratitude prayer” (which was addition to writing a list, I need to start that again too) started with – being grateful that I was alive!!! It was so scary to me in Vegas everyday I just was happy to make it through the day. No joke!
I’ll go write my list now.
SAD and Sad.
I have and I am. I am sad a lot. I miss my mom and dad. They both died – at different times. I missed a lot of my life because I chose to drink instead of living it. I took antidepressants for a while, I didn’t like what they were doing and was afraid of the long term effects after researching them. Now I use natural supplements and they work most of the time, lately not so much.
It’s difficult. Especially now in a new environment. It’s baffling to me how the weather makes such a difference in my mood. It always has though. Today the sun is out and I feel pretty good. This week it snowed then turning into rain most of the week and it’s cold and I’ve been bitter. I just want to lay on the couch and think about all the things I don’t have. I don’t want to do any of the things that will make me feel better about myself. I think about the past and all the things I have done that are mistakes and why did I move? Every freaking day a battle in my brain. It’s tiring and I don’t like it.
But – Today I feel better and the sun is out for now. I have a job, a place to live, food in my fridge, a positive bank account, a kick-ass man who is also my bff, a heater, a yard that I can grown shit in once it stops freezing, amazing friends and family, cannabis and all the little things I have held on to that make me feel good. Oh, I’m healthy! Another really positive thing is I could keep writing about all the things I have gratitude for today so that’s a really good thing!
Leaving Las Vegas! (part 2)
We did it. We saved, we researched, we moved. $2000 and a car full of our most important things. We left Las Vegas at the beginning of April. We are now living in South Lake Tahoe, we have a tiny home in a super cute tiny home community and jobs.
The air is so clean, the water tastes so good and it’s quiet. It is really cold. This morning it was 30 degrees, yesterday we had to scrape snow off of the car. I have never liked the cold but the trade off of feeling safe and just being able to walk down the street and have people say “hi” instead of asking you for money or cigarettes is well worth it to me.
I am so glad that we made the move. People looked at us like we were crazy. Yes, we had good jobs but we were miserable. I see it here, at my current job. Some of the people I work with have lived here and worked at the same place their entire lives. The are a little bitter, to say the least and I am not sure if it’s just because it’s the same shit every day for the last 35 years? I don’t want to be like that. Life is short, if you don’t like something change it.
Our new neighborhood!!!
Is it worry or caring?
Ugh. One thing I do often is worry. I worry about bothering someone who I don’t even know. We are living in a homtel for the month. It’s like a hotel with apartment prices. I haven’t been sleeping well so I wake up early. Quiet time in this place is from 9 am – 9 pm. I blend my coffee in the morning and worry about if I am bothering the people next door. I’ve changed up my entire morning routine because of this. Should I really care so much?
Leaving Las Vegas
I just read my post from December 2017 about being excited about moving here. Now I am writing about being excited to leave! It’s definitely been interesting and I have learned a lot. I also know that I don’t care for living in Las Vegas.
The year had its ups and downs. Today I am going to try and focus on the positive parts and what’s “good” today because I find myself being way to negative lately. I blame it on my environment but I know it boils down to me, how I react to it. I just know, for me personally, my environment has a lot to do with my attitude. It’s a lot easier to be happy when you are happy with your situation – where you live, work, the people you spend time with, what you do with your time and where you spend your time.
So what’s good today is – we’re in a temporary hotel for the month – there was always some sort of issue in the apartment I was living in and we’re staying here till we leave Vegas. My last day at the dispensary was on the 1st of March. I miss my people there and am so grateful for them, I have new life friends. I have a month off to focus on recovering from this year and getting ready for the next part of life. We are moving to a smaller town with trees, water and fresh air. I am beyond excited.
I’m glad so many beautiful places are close by.
And it’s because the city can be quite ugly. I’ve lived in CA, WA, HI and now NV. This state is the trashiest I’ve been in. A lot of people don’t pick up their dog poop and there are plastic bags all over the place. I’ve seen people throw trash out their windows driving. It’s so crazy.
On a happier note, Red Rock Canyon is really close by and we got an annual pass this past week so we will be spending a lot of time here. It’s super peaceful and the park opens at 6 am so you can go before it starts getting hot.
We hit 100 yesterday for the first time in 2018. It was hotter than I expected, luckily I was at work all day but when I got out at 7pm it was still yucky hot.
I fulfilled one of my life’s dreams and got a job at a cannabis dispensary, it’s been fun and interesting. A little different than I expected but it stays quite busy, I am learning lots and I get an employee discount. Yay!!!!
