Zoloft withdrawal complete? Yes. Yay!

I am just looking back at when I wrote last. I started the process of tapering off of Zoloft last year. April 4 was my first day completely off.  May was horrible.  I thought with the year taper it wouldn’t be that bad.  I was so wrong.  I felt like shit most days. I couldn’t jump, run, or hike. I was nauseous all the time. If I moved too quickly, especially my head it was like my brain couldn’t keep up with the movement.  My body hurt and I didn’t think I would ever feel better again.  Thank goodness I do. I started on 25 mg of Zoloft and worked my way up to 150 mg over the course of about 3 years. Then I started my taper, it was about 10% less per month I took.  I started taking Zoloft at the suggestion of my shrink.  I was so sad all the time, couldn’t get out of bed. Thought I was going to die every moment of the day.  Zoloft helped me not feel that way anymore and so far, those feelings haven’t come back.

I told my doctor I was doing the taper so she prescribed Wellbutrin to help with the withdrawal.  Unfuckingbelievable. The bad part is I am taking it so now I want to get off of it as well.  The lame thing is that I am on the extended release pills and I can’t just cut them down to taper.  Apparently, if you cut them in 1/2 they are no longer extended release and that jacks everything up.  So I will be making a trip to the doctor to let her know that was the worst I have felt on a daily basis since I quit drinking. I wonder how much of a kick back they get from the pharmaceutical companies? This time if she suggests something else I will decline.  I am doing pretty good with fish oil and Ashwagandha.  It should be interesting how she recommends I taper off Wellbutrin.

The paper lady has been a lot quieter but she’s still out there every morning and could give no shits about what the landlord says or if she is bothering anyone. It sucks too because our landlord is so nice. This woman once paid her rent in $1 bills and I know her rent is at least $1300.  They have a couple kids living in their studio and they are not in school for some reason.  I saw her coming in the other day, it was still dark but it was about 6 am and she had 2 extra large candy bars in her hand.  I don’t have any kids but I don’t think it’s a good example to set for your grandkids that candy bars are good for breakfast, especially if they are sturdy in the first place.

We decided we’re gonna move. Not because of the neighbors but we’re going back to the mainland.  More of everything over there. If I were 25 years younger living here would be ok but I am not.  I want to be able to drive more than 50 miles to get somewhere. I want to be able to shop online and not see the *we don’t ship to Hawaii or *prices do not apply if you’re in Hawaii.  I want to live somewhere where it’s not so expensive. I can’t save anything and it sucks.  Also, I seem to be complaining a lot lately and it’s because I am unhappy.  Soon it will change.

 

 

 

 

Apartment Life

We moved into our apartment building 11/2015.  I love it here. It’s close to everything in town and it’s a very interesting community.  This was a last minute find, we were 30 minutes away from signing a lease in Honolulu.  I told our previous landlady, Jen we were on our way to sign the lease in Honolulu and she almost had a coronary.  She wanted us to stay in Kailua and so did we.  She had me hop in her minivan and we drove down the street to the building her mom lives in.  Jeff, the building owner was in and after Jen talked to him for a few minutes we had a place to live. Our place is small but we have a large lanai that looks over Kailua Marsh and the Ko’olau mountains. The rent is also $600 less than we were paying before and water is included. Jeff is a great guy and helps out a lot of people. Some of the people he rents to are people who have fallen on hard times and need some help to get them back on their feet. There are also some really old folks, it’s not unusual to see an ambulance. We also have a few people that are not supposed to be drinking.  All in all, we have a lot of interesting people who live here. We have given some of the people nicknames because we don’t know their real names. The apartments are small 1 bedroom places, some have lanais and the ones that don’t have a little more space inside. We get along well with everyone and Jeff tells us we are his “normal” tenants.

The apartments are small 1 bedroom places, some have lanais and the ones that don’t have a little more space inside. We get along well with everyone and Jeff tells us we are his “normal” tenants. We don’t complain, we are quiet and we pay our rent on time.

A couple weeks ago Jeff asked if I could move my parking space down one, closer to the street. Everyone who was parked moved their space over to leave an open spot because he needed to have a spot for handicap parking.  The wife of the guy on the bottom floor who was parked on the other side of the building moved her car into the handicap space. She uses a cane and she is a rather large lady, super jovial and friendly.

All was well until one morning last week.  Our bedroom overlooks the parking lot and on this particular morning, I was woken up about 3:15 am by rustling outside the window. We are on the 3rd floor so noise carries. I look out the window and see our friend, in her minivan putting newspapers into plastic bags. A few minutes later, ding, ding, ding from the car door because her seat belt isn’t on. I know she has a paper route. We used to see her on Saturday night (on the other side) getting the papers ready for the next day. The next morning, I have woken up again. Same rustling and the freaking car door ding.

So the next day I see my neighbor Steven, his apartment is on the ground floor, the nose of her car is facing his windows. He looked like shit and let me know he had been woken up every morning because she sits in her front seat and puts the papers in plastic bags and then takes off to do her route. He also told me he asked her if she could do the papers the night before or park somewhere else to put them in the plastic. He also told me (and Jeff confirmed) that they only reason she had to move her car is because the neighbor on the other side complained about the same thing.  He asked her if she could go back to doing the papers the night before. She didn’t. He ended up having to get a restraining order and the cops came out to serve it and that’s why she’s now parked on our side.  I am in shock because I can’t believe someone, who we thought was a nice person would be such an asshole. She has NO intent of moving her car in the morning and won’t do it the night before. Saturday the papers were in the car all day and Sunday morning at 3:15 am she is at it again.  She told Jeff she “doesn’t give a rat’s ass” if it bothers anyone.

I am not sure what we are going to do. We may have to do the restraining order too. It’s unbelievable to me that she is so disrespectful.  Her adult daughter and grandchild are living with her and her husband. Great job on being an example.  I am a food broker and I have given her and her family so much free food over the past year.  Now it just makes me angry so I try to avoid seeing these people and it sucks because her husband is so nice.

 

 

Below the Tropic of Cancer

Today’s question: Where did you go today?

One of the things I like about living on an island 44 miles long and 30 miles wide is that the drive is never far.  It does take longer to get from point A to B because of the traffic, mountains and winding roads. My job requires me to drive to most parts of the island and today I went to the west side, Kapolei. Specifically Down to Earth, a natural food store. It takes about 45 minutes and 1/2 of the drive is super scenic. Sometimes I can’t believe how green it gets.

I went to the post office to mail a couple letters. The main post office is close by (like a few blocks away) and our home delivery is spotty. I complained to the post office once. I’m like – we have no mail Mondays, what’s up with that? The lady at the post office said something about my building being at the end of the route and sometimes the mail people don’t have time to finish.  I had a couple suggestions, they probably laughed when they read them. When it rains and the mail doesn’t come we joke and say it’s because of the rain, like Newman in Seinfeld.

I walked over to CVS/Long’s to drop off a prescription and pick up one. Holy Shit – ha!  I picked up the container of stuff I have to drink before my colonoscopy, it’s more than a gallon of liquid. Ugh.

The last place I went today was for work as well.  I drove into Honolulu which usually takes about 30 minutes, today it took longer because it was around 6pm on a St. Patricks Day Friday. 

Now I am happy at home. I hear people partying over at the bar on the next street over.  I am so glad they don’t have they band that played last year. It was an 80’s cover band which was cool but the singer sucked!!! A good cover band singer at least sounds similar to the original.

 

** Questions are from: Get It Scrapped! Tami Taylor 365 Questions – a five year journal.**

Illegal fireworks, I think not!

This is the second year at our current apartment. Last year we* sort of saw the fireworks in Honolulu through the Ko’olau mountains. This year it was insane, they started early.  Loud ass booms that seriously made me scream and jump. My neighbors** were lighting them off in the parking lot next door. They had been selling fireworks out of the back of their white Bronco (which has tags that expired in 2015) so they had a ton of them. Our back window looks over the parking lot and we are on the third floor so I’m always checking out what’s going on out there.

Anyway, they started early and lit off a ton of fireworks.  I was sitting on our bed working and the smell of sulfur totally came up into our place. I seriously thought my clothes were going to smell. At midnight we went onto the lanai and watched a bunch go off and by 12:30am, it was quiet. I guess you can get a permit to light them even though they are illegal.

Today was uneventful. We went out to get coffee and all the food places were full of people. I live with my boyfriend in a beach town where tourists visit. Most of the year is busy but winter and summer especially. The town is growing and new stores are opening (and closing) often. I love living here because I feel comfortable being far away from the dog-eat-dog environment on the mainland. In our last place here we didn’t even lock our front door.  That’s not saying nothing happens here, theft is huge, especially cars (on an island!?) there are a ton of homless and mentally ill people roaming and living on the streets because there are no facilities for them. They shut them down and meanwhile (I read somewhere yesterday) welfare recipients here average $29 per hour and the state minimum wage just got raised to $9.25 per hour. It was $8.25!!!  I have never lived in a place where the state is so sloppily run before but I enjoy the weather and people are beyond friendly.

I am going to prepare for tomorrows work day so I start the new year off right. I’m glad I woke up today. I have a place to live, a positive bank account and food in my fridge. A lot more than some people have.

*When I say we I am referring to my live with boyfriend, Dallas.  We’ve been together about 9 years even though I am still married to someone else. We broke up way before I met Dallas and have both been lazy about the divorce.

**I have a bunch because I live in an apartment building. These particular neighbors we call the hillbillies because they have a dad, two adult children, a girlfriend and 4 kids living in a large studio. The mom used to live with them but she left about 6 months ago. My landlord  knows but he likes to help people and they are saving to move. They had the money but got robbed. That’s a whole ‘nother story.