Just my opinion. 😉
My reviews: Fresh Water Taffy
Category: Life
My Reviews: Super Sour Diesel
These are just my opinions.
Sun’s out and so is my smile!
My thoughts are negative a lot and I don’t like to share that shit. I think talking about the struggle is a little different and easier for me. I got to share about it a little with a co worker the other day. She also mentioned she’s glad she takes medication so she doesn’t have to deal with it. I told her I didn’t like medication because it made me gain a ton of weight and that made me even more depressed or the struggle of getting off of the medication but in the end thought I had was how grateful I was to not be on SSRIs anymore.
So I started thinking about gratitude and how passionate I was about my gratitude back in Vegas and how come I don’t have that same passion for gratitude. We moved and we are definitely not making as much money as we were before and things have been a struggle. On the other hand, we’ve only been here a short time and have jobs and a place to live. I just got a bike the other day so I can ride around all the bike paths at my doorstep. The sun has been out since June started so that’s been a great help on my outlook as I open my eyes. My bf, my health and friends. I could go on and on about things I am thankful for. So, what’s missing?
This morning it hit me and I started cracking up. I always started my “gratitude prayer” (which was addition to writing a list, I need to start that again too) started with – being grateful that I was alive!!! It was so scary to me in Vegas everyday I just was happy to make it through the day. No joke!
I’ll go write my list now.
SAD and Sad.
I have and I am. I am sad a lot. I miss my mom and dad. They both died – at different times. I missed a lot of my life because I chose to drink instead of living it. I took antidepressants for a while, I didn’t like what they were doing and was afraid of the long term effects after researching them. Now I use natural supplements and they work most of the time, lately not so much.
It’s difficult. Especially now in a new environment. It’s baffling to me how the weather makes such a difference in my mood. It always has though. Today the sun is out and I feel pretty good. This week it snowed then turning into rain most of the week and it’s cold and I’ve been bitter. I just want to lay on the couch and think about all the things I don’t have. I don’t want to do any of the things that will make me feel better about myself. I think about the past and all the things I have done that are mistakes and why did I move? Every freaking day a battle in my brain. It’s tiring and I don’t like it.
But – Today I feel better and the sun is out for now. I have a job, a place to live, food in my fridge, a positive bank account, a kick-ass man who is also my bff, a heater, a yard that I can grown shit in once it stops freezing, amazing friends and family, cannabis and all the little things I have held on to that make me feel good. Oh, I’m healthy! Another really positive thing is I could keep writing about all the things I have gratitude for today so that’s a really good thing!
Leaving Las Vegas! (part 2)
We did it. We saved, we researched, we moved. $2000 and a car full of our most important things. We left Las Vegas at the beginning of April. We are now living in South Lake Tahoe, we have a tiny home in a super cute tiny home community and jobs.
The air is so clean, the water tastes so good and it’s quiet. It is really cold. This morning it was 30 degrees, yesterday we had to scrape snow off of the car. I have never liked the cold but the trade off of feeling safe and just being able to walk down the street and have people say “hi” instead of asking you for money or cigarettes is well worth it to me.
I am so glad that we made the move. People looked at us like we were crazy. Yes, we had good jobs but we were miserable. I see it here, at my current job. Some of the people I work with have lived here and worked at the same place their entire lives. The are a little bitter, to say the least and I am not sure if it’s just because it’s the same shit every day for the last 35 years? I don’t want to be like that. Life is short, if you don’t like something change it.
Our new neighborhood!!!
Dinner at the Hofbrauhaus in Vegas
I like this place. It’s a German style beer hall in Vegas. The food is amazing and it’s always great people watching. We were there on Sunday, the other guys at our table were playing quarters. I’ve never experienced that before when I’ve been eating, at a restaurant.
We don’t eat meat so we had the vegan frankfurter – it comes with fries in a curry sauce that brings back great memories to me from when I was young in Holland with my cousins. A huge pretzel that was super soft on the inside with just enough salt on the outside. It came with a kick-ass beer cheese which was one of the best beer cheeses I’ve had in a while. We also got the vegan schnitzel and it came with potato salad. There were two pieces of schnitzel so it was easy to share. We drank water and our total came to $49.60.
They also do this thing, if you drink 3 or 5 shots you get a smack on your ass with the paddle that holds the shot glasses. I love that the waitresses/waiters are the ones that do the paddling. What a great way thank the drunks you’ve been serving.
Take a shot, get a swat!
Is it worry or caring?
Ugh. One thing I do often is worry. I worry about bothering someone who I don’t even know. We are living in a homtel for the month. It’s like a hotel with apartment prices. I haven’t been sleeping well so I wake up early. Quiet time in this place is from 9 am – 9 pm. I blend my coffee in the morning and worry about if I am bothering the people next door. I’ve changed up my entire morning routine because of this. Should I really care so much?
Leaving Las Vegas
I just read my post from December 2017 about being excited about moving here. Now I am writing about being excited to leave! It’s definitely been interesting and I have learned a lot. I also know that I don’t care for living in Las Vegas.
The year had its ups and downs. Today I am going to try and focus on the positive parts and what’s “good” today because I find myself being way to negative lately. I blame it on my environment but I know it boils down to me, how I react to it. I just know, for me personally, my environment has a lot to do with my attitude. It’s a lot easier to be happy when you are happy with your situation – where you live, work, the people you spend time with, what you do with your time and where you spend your time.
So what’s good today is – we’re in a temporary hotel for the month – there was always some sort of issue in the apartment I was living in and we’re staying here till we leave Vegas. My last day at the dispensary was on the 1st of March. I miss my people there and am so grateful for them, I have new life friends. I have a month off to focus on recovering from this year and getting ready for the next part of life. We are moving to a smaller town with trees, water and fresh air. I am beyond excited.
I don’t think I’ve ever been happier for December!
Seriously! I am in such a good mood sometimes it’s frightening. I like it so I just go with it but it’s not something I am used to that’s why it scares me. In a good way.
It’s probably one of many reasons :
- We’re leaving Vegas…..in the next 3 months or so….Yes!!!!!!!
- I’ve been taking St. John’s Wort, Ashwagandha, and Fish oil daily for a few months.
- Really working on my attitude and mood by listening to positive podcasts, using the Law of Attraction planner, copying what positive people say to do.
- Eating lots more fruits and veggies and fewer sweets.
Las Vegas hasn’t changed. More people are moving here. In my neighborhood alone – check it out before you move here…….they are putting those huge iron black fences up around apartment buildings for a reason. All the piece of shit buildings are getting rehauled and refurbished to prepare for the influx of people. Our fence isn’t that high so I still have a view of the outside world. My street is busy and there are so many people displaced in downtown Las Vegas/Fremont area. Just yesterday I noticed three different apartment buildings being worked on, new paint so they look pretty. Something I notice just sitting in my living room when people walk by is they like to listen to music without headphones….I don’t know when that changed back….but just blasting their stuff at any time of day or night.
The other day my bf and I were walking to downtown to get some coffee and we walk by this kid (13 -15 yrs) eating some chips walking his dog (it’s like 7:00 am) and he says – “you got a dollar?” No, hi, no good morning. I was still in shock but my bf said, “NO” and the kid shakes his head and is like…..”fuck!”
I must stop with that….getting all worked up and I gotta work. My horoscope said……Don’t Let Someone Pull You Into Their Storm…..Pull Them Into Your Peace.
It’s been 8 months since I’ve seen a rainbow. Glad I got to see this one.
I didn’t know Las Vegas had monsoons. It floods here often. I didn’t know that either. The weather forecast is not very on point, I’ll get notifications on my phone that it’s going to start raining where I am in 15 minutes but it’s already raining. Or sometimes the rain never comes. I appreciate weather notifications – but not if they are wrong…all the time.
It’s been hot, I know it’s been hot everywhere so Vegas is just hotter. It seems like the normal is about 103-106 degrees, lately, it’s been 110 -117 degrees. It makes people crazy. I saw a guy turn left onto a one-way street yesterday, luckily out of the three lanes, he turned into the middle one which happened to be empty. All the others were full of cars facing the other direction, no-one honked. I think we were all in disbelief, it’s so clearly marked that it’s one-way. A guy in a wheelchair who was a double amputee got into a pretty intense argument with another guy in the dispensary, one of them (who was a regular, got kicked out). The police came later in the day because another dude decided to leave his one and two-year-olds in the car while he came in to buy some cannabis. Luckily some other people got the doors open and sat with the kids. Who does that? It’s like 117+ degrees in the car.
The high today is only 112 degrees. Yay.
pixielittledotme 