My thoughts are negative a lot and I don’t like to share that shit. I think talking about the struggle is a little different and easier for me. I got to share about it a little with a co worker the other day. She also mentioned she’s glad she takes medication so she doesn’t have to deal with it. I told her I didn’t like medication because it made me gain a ton of weight and that made me even more depressed or the struggle of getting off of the medication but in the end thought I had was how grateful I was to not be on SSRIs anymore.

So I started thinking about gratitude and how passionate I was about my gratitude back in Vegas and how come I don’t have that same passion for gratitude. We moved and we are definitely not making as much money as we were before and things have been a struggle. On the other hand, we’ve only been here a short time and have jobs and a place to live. I just got a bike the other day so I can ride around all the bike paths at my doorstep. The sun has been out since June started so that’s been a great help on my outlook as I open my eyes. My bf, my health and friends. I could go on and on about things I am thankful for. So, what’s missing?

This morning it hit me and I started cracking up. I always started my “gratitude prayer” (which was addition to writing a list, I need to start that again too) started with – being grateful that I was alive!!! It was so scary to me in Vegas everyday I just was happy to make it through the day. No joke!

I’ll go write my list now.